Why -I HATE YOU- is a Great Thing to Hear!


Why "I Hate You"  is a Good Thing to Hear!

By Annie Berryhill

I love  training  group and personal fitness clients using Crossfit methods.  I especially love seeing them work through some challenges and come out on top.

But by far, the best thing I could EVER hear a client say is "I HATE YOU".

So, you are probably thinking this is a little odd. Why would one of the most heinous phrases in the English language delight me so much?

There are some pretty powerful and gratifying reasons that I relish hearing this magical words:

1. If the client is saying that to me, either in jest or with some other intensity, they are being PUSHED. When someone is being pushed into and through discomfort, I know with 100% surety, I am doing my job at a high level. That is a great feeling.  Most people don't even know what pushing themselves feels like, so I get to dish it out, and I LOVE IT!

2. When my clients say that to me, I know that they are experiencing some STRETCHING that is waaaaaaay outside their comfort zone. Its a classic scene in movies where the expectant mother, who is in the throws of labor, screams similar words to the man who got her into this situation in the first place. In the moment, it can seem POSITIVELY awful. But once the work has passed, and the end result is attained, all is forgotten and forgiven.

3.I HATE YOU really means I HATE FEELING LIKE THIS! Fair enough, but know, if they could get the results that want by sitting and doing nothing, they would not need me. If they are feeling something that is making your get closer to the goals, then I have actually done a good job of programming and getting you to execute the work.


4. It fuels intensity and determination for them to look me in the eye and say that. It's nearly an inner rage that occurs even in the most even keel, passive types. Just uttering those words are like lighting a keg of gasoline under their own behinds. Again, it totally works for me…I want them to work intensely!


5.We both know its a temporary condition. Not one time, in the hundreds of times clients have told me that did any client every leave, fire or continue that sentiment against me. (course I like to make sure I bring it out in them every once in a while!)


So if you are training with someone who makes you feel really comfy-cozy, who never corrects or directs you or who has never lit a fire under you butt, maybe it's time to find someone who every once in a while you want to tell them how much you need them by telling them "I HATE YOU".


It's that kind of trainer who is going to get you out of your rut and back into your playing shape, complete with fire and intensity!

Let me be your partner in the pursuit of your goals!


You are DESIGNED to live


Today is a good day to get started


What experiences have you had with trainers? Your comments are so important to me!  Just share them in the comment box below the Bio section!



Anne (Annie)Annie%20at%20Trevor%20with%20Fire%20Truck A Cyber Hug for you today Berryhill is a Crossfit Level 1 Trainer, USA Weightlifting Sports Perfomance Coach, Crossfit Athlete and competitor who owns and operates OC Fitness Revival in Orange County, CA.   Services include personal and group training, nutrition classes and counseling, as well as providing incredible health-improving supplements to help people  to make the most out of what they've got.

Contact her today for a Free class, Nutrition consultation or to try Chava Chocolate for Athletes!

(949) 280-3407  Anne@anneberryhill.com

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  • Annie – I wish you lived here in DSM – I would hire you in a second!  I wouldn't like you very much but…….when I read this post it made me think of what I go thru with my chiro – I have a numb thigh – from my back – and he works on it when I go – and I do not like him at all during that time period!!!  He tells me not to scare his other patients!  It hurts and then the pain is over for a little while – keep up your good work – wish we could get together but this is a great way!

    • I love it Anne! The response to this post has been insightful, I think I didnt realize that the same situation would happen in different industries! You are so sweet to share! I really appreciate it!

  • Fantastic insight! Love it! I experience the same rush with my parent coaching clients…when they feel things are getting a bit "foreign" I say YES! Change is what we are after right? Ha!

  • Annie, I will be one of those who may say that too. I read your post…and..ask myself…so when are you going to start…working out!…Thanks. Great post!

  • Thanks Annie for sooo much motivation….I know the feeling to "hate" people who try to push me to do something that is good for me, but it comes from a good heart 🙂 Thanks!

  • Anne, sort of reminds me of "it hurts so bad" but people keep doing it. So there really are reasons for clients to hate us and when they see results they turn that into "love ya" later. I know I do better with a personal trainer then "fudging" it on my own.  

  • It is great to be lean, strong and healthy! Thanks for helping people to achieve their goals – you are doing a great job! 🙂

  • Oh, how helpful it is to have someone work one-on-one with you and pushing you when you want to quit!
    Good friend!

  • Anne,
    That cracks me up. Having hired work out coaches myself I know why I HATE YOU is so good. The funny thing for me was I knew it before I even read your post!!! How lucky your personal clients are to have you around to "hate"!

  • What a great motivator! I need to get back into exercising and you are an inspiration! You look amazing! Thanks for the article!

  • This sounds so familiar — how many times do I say this? Alot but it’s the ‘good’ hate because you push me to do more. I love that motivation you bring. 🙂

  • I totally understand the concept, but I love my trainer, and everything he's done for me. I was cruising into middle age, thinking I was done. Now I have a whole, new, exciting sport, and wonderful friends, like you, Annie. All because of Crossfit and my Crossfit trainer.


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