“We are always telling a story whenever we speak”, Mitch Newman
(Recently I attended an event and was astounded to hear a teaching on this very lesson that I very much needed. Much of what the man quoted above taught became the basis for this post. Enjoy and I hope it makes you think!)
Telling stories isn’t just something we do to entertain children. The stories we tell ourselves are the basis for our belief system for the way we interpret the world, events and the actions of others every single day. As a result, it shapes what we think, believe and do. But many of the times, the stories are just perspectives and not actual truth.
What in the heck does this mean for your life?
It means that your story shows up in a few powerful ways, and not all of them are progressive or productive. See if you recognize any of them:
- Anything that upsets me, is ABOUT me.
- When we say we can, we can’t, we will or won’t, those are all stories
- Excuses, justifications, reasoning are all in defense of the story
- Judgments of ourselves and others
Hmm…I bet at least one of these sounds familiar.
But my goal in pointing them out is not to condemn anyone because I am guilty of all of these. The goal is to simply create an understanding and awareness because stories are things that hold us back, challenge relationships, form opinions and create actions. Remember thoughts become things as you focus on them. So if there is a thing in your life that is unwanted, it’s important to trace it back to the root of the thought and the story that is connected to it.
For example, let’s say you are into fitness. You were formerly overweight, and did not participate in sports as a kid. Often, even if you’d lost that weight and got your body fat down low enough to show every muscle in your body, the story in your head may still be repeating that you are a fraud because you are and always will be a “fat kid”.
These tapes are very hard to stop. But, in order to elevate your potential, you must leave behind the tapes that have traveled with you. They don’t help, and they are most likely, not true.
There is much written and spoken about how to stop, erase and rewrite the stories that determine our opinions, values, actions and reasoning. Like any change, it requires commitment, determination and drive to change out detrimental stories with beneficial ones. But you can do it. Here are some quick strategies you can start doing today
- Before acting or reacting, ask yourself: IS THIS REAL?- Most of the time, it is not real or reality. Breathe.
- Treat the times when you have used excuses, justifications or filters as opportunities to delve into ways to grow in love and understanding as they are presented to you, Then, strive to see and learn from them.- Let go and trust.
- Use “I Am” statements, grounded in truths to repeat and anchor onto daily. For example, use a declaration statement like “I am powerful, capable and loving in all situations.” But add a statement at the end about something that is total truth about you already like “My name is Annie Berryhill and I live in California”. This will extinguish the tendency for disbelief that inevitably happens after saying the I Am statement. It must be said with posture, energy, and enthusiasm. All which train you to believe the words you speak and get it into your body, heart and mind in a deep way.
We all have stories. Whether they are about people, money, situations, conversations, we all filter what we hear through the stories that have played in our heads for years. It’s time to do some head-cleaning and sift through the stories you tell yourself to determine which ones exist to build you up and which do nothing but negatively impact your life.
Start sifting, sorting and tossing out the old stories today!
I’d love to hear the I am statements you are working on to help clear out and erase the old tapes in the comment area below.